I cannot be the only one to wonder; which came first, the soccer player or the shower shoe flip flop?
These shoes were once rarely seen outside of a locker room. There, they served bravely as the last line of defense against athlete’s foot. The migration of these one-strap flops, aka “slides”, out of the locker room and into everyday wear coincided with the dawn of the “tough actin Tinactin” commercials of the 1990’s.
Perhaps the advances in athlete’s foot treatment and prevention forced these one-strap wonders to move from functional to fashionable lest they went the way of the dodo?
I don’t know, because my departure from the game of soccer was just before the great shower shoe migration.
My soccer career began in 1st grade and ended in 6th grade much as it started – awash in confusion about the seemingly arbitrary rules of the game (bend over and I’ll give you “offside”) and with a deep longing to just kick that damned ball as hard as I could.
So that is how I found myself near middle age, with a lot of ground to make up, when I finally purchased my first pair of soccer shower flip flops.
This is why my shower shoes are Adidas.
There were many brands on display but other than the lettering and logo I could discern no real difference among them, so I bought the first pair I found in my size. This is why my shower shoes are Adidas.
On my drive home I had visions of slipping them on and looking like a proper soccer star, strutting around town in my shower shoes, certain I’d look awesome.
Now, the perspective one has of ones’ shoes while he’s in them is unique to that individual. From my vantage point they looked…ridiculous. More nursing home house slippers than sporty fashion.
Perhaps a side view from the mirror would transform them. Nope, they look just as awkward and wrong from this perspective. They screamed “grandpa” not “athlete.”
Desperate to make them work I tried them with knee-high soccer socks and sporty shorts but that looked more mental patient than team Captain.
I am forced to conclude that slides just don’t work for me. Not at all.
Appearances aside, they are very light weight and reasonably comfy.
However, they don’t feel sturdy enough to handle much of a walk. In fact, they seemed most at home when I wore them, after my swim, from the pool to the locker room.
I even wore them into the locker room shower where they kept me safe from whatever was lurking on the communal shower floor.
On a positive note, I don’t have any signs of athlete’s foot.
The slides work perfectly in that regard. But I just can’t recommend them for any more than that.
Now that Tinactin has made athlete’s foot a thing of the past I wonder if these suckers have run their course?
Like the horse. Sure, you see them now and then and you can even ride one occasionally but who really needs or even owns a horse these days? At least on a horse you look kind of bad ass instead of just like an ass.
I wish I could say the same for my shower slides.