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Teva Voya – Stay In Your Lane

OCCASION

Beach or grocery store

BEVERAGE AND MUSIC PAIRING

Teva Voya

Fit

2/5

Style

2/5

Traction

1/5

Comfort

2/5

Dudeness

2/5

Overall Performance

1.8/5

I like Teva’s. I do. In other reviews here I’ve described how their strappy Velcro sandals crated a whole new class of sandals that defined river foot ware.

I really, really, really want to like their flip flops, which is why I’ve gone back to the Teva well time after time hoping to quench my thirst for an amazing pair of Teva flip flops, yet my thirst remains.

I’m forced to conclude that Teva just can’t make a good pair of flip flops and that they should stick to sandals.

I suppose that my hope for a stellar pair of Teva flip flops is similar to hoping that Ferrari would make an affordable, practical and family friendly minivan. Or that Michael Jordan were a better knitter. Or that my dog could vacuum. It’s just not who they are.

Now that I know this, I realize I shouldn’t have been surprised by my disappointment in the Teva Voya flip flops. As soon as I held them, I knew they’d fall short.

They’re incredibly light so light that they feel like they’re made of foamed milk, which makes them feel cheap.

I suppose that Teva’s commitment to make all their foot ware float is to blame. But there’s got to be a way to make them buoyant yet substantial. They feel like toy flip flops.

The main sole is made of a fluffy rubber that is a bit too thick to be fashionable. This causes them to be the worst of both worlds, simultaneously light and bulky.

To top things off the footbed is lined with a quarter inch of neoprene-like foam rubber which makes them even more bulky and even cheaper. The nylon straps have a nice earth tone rectangular pattern on them and would look great on another pair of flip flops.

Here they are completely outmatched by the unattractive sole and midsole. Dare I say, lip stick on a pig? Despite the fine look of the straps, they are too loose which, because the flip flops are so light, isn’t really an issue but it’s still sloppy.

Teva Voya

These flip flops would work at a beach party or a trip to the grocery store but they’re uninspired and not great to wear.

This means that they’ll be worn a few times and then left in the closet forever. If they were completely bland, they may survive but the fact that they’re not pleasant to wear dooms them.

The fit is loose and cheap, like wearing plastic shoes that are a bit too loose. If only the styling of the straps aligned with the shoe below them. Unfortunately, the cheap bulkiness of the footbed outweigh any style points offered by the straps.

As I’ve experienced with every pair of Teva flip flops I’ve tried the traction is terrible. The outsole is made of a hard-ish rubbery plastic that slips and slides on any smooth dry surface.

I felt like a dog trying walk on a polished tile floor. This plays out on most surfaces wet or dry. So, wear them at your own peril.

Because of the bulky lightness of them and their much too loose straps they really aren’t all that comfortable. In fact, I found that I had to force myself to wear them so that I could review them, never a good sign.

I’m not happy to have to conclude that Teva cannot make a good flip flop. This is strike three and each is just about as bad as the other – I forced a positive review of the Teva Azures and haven’t worn them since, but if you read between the lines even a little it’s obvious that I was faking it.

This must be why they say it’s best to never meet your hero’s lest they let you down.

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