Skechers – Like the Guy in the Hefty Bag Commercial

OCCASION

Buffets, eating contests, nursing homes

BEVERAGE AND MUSIC PAIRING

Long Island Iced Tea

skechers pairing

Fit

3/5

Style

1/5

Traction

4/5

Comfort

4/5

Dudeness

4.5/5

Overall Performance

3.3/5

When I first saw the “Skechers Relaxed Fit Memory Foam ((((360)))) – Reggae Cobano” flip flops in “brown” I wondered out loud to myself, “Are these orthopedic?” The box they came in boasts, “WRAP-AROUND MEMORY FOAM LINING,” “INSTANT COMFORT” and “DURABLE OUTSOLE.”

Well, well, well… It looks like we’ve got an AARP approved flip flop here. These suckers were built and marketed with Grandpa in mind. Actually, Grandpa or a very large man. As in, elastic waistbands are too confining so I wear my nightshirt to the all you can eat buffet – large man.

“It’s kind of like wearing very short stilts.”

These are some solidly built flip flops. Putting them on feels like an event. Like attending a hotdog eating contest at the County fair. Though you’re not a participant, just being there and witnessing… that; you feel the weight of what’s happening on that grandstand.

Whether you want it or not, these flip flops add two full inches to your height, a result of their “WRAP-AROUND MEMORY FOAM LINING” and the “DURABLE OUTSOLE.” I’m not sure if the effect is intentional or not but the increase in height is enough to be noticeable. Reaching for a glass of water on the table I notice the extra two-inch gap between my grasp and the glass. It’s kind of like wearing very short stilts. Weird, but fun, again very County Fair like.

The style wouldn’t be bad if every part of the shoe hadn’t been beefed up to meet the orthopedic and comfort requirements of very old or very fat men. Kind of like Andre The Giant, no matter how fashionably he dressed – his sheer size is all you saw. The same holds true for these flip flops.

“… a geriatrically and orthopedically styled big man’s flip flop…”

Once you get past the styling (or bigness) though you’re in for a treat. True to what it says on the box, these are comfortable, unsettlingly so. My feet like being in these flops. The memory foam bed is every bit as comfy and cozy as an actual up in the air memory foam bed. The durable outsole provides hiking boot-like firm footing.

I think I understand these flip flops. They are so focused on comfort and durability that they can’t be concerned with style. They are unapologetically who they are. In fact, things that most people would view as reasons to avoid these flip flops, are seen by the enlightened few, as perks. Things like automatically being given the senior discount at restaurants despite your actual age when wearing them. If you’re confident in your age why would you care if these suckers saved your 34-year-old self 40% on the lunch special? Heck, viewed this way these Skechers could actually pay for themselves before long.

If you’re looking for a geriatrically and orthopedically styled big man’s flip flop with hiking boot treads that asks, “where’s the buffet?”, then this is the flip flop for you.

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