Breaking News! Forget Everything you Thought you Knew About Flip flops
The Commission of Footwear Optimization and Orthopedic Language has published a ground-breaking research paper that is set to turn the flip flop world upside down. The paper is the result of a years-long comprehensive, exhaustive and extensive research effort. Experts from a wide-ranging group of academics, industry experts and physicians set out to discover the definitive source of the distinctive sound that has lent the “flip flop” sandal its name. What they uncovered will change the world of footwear – Forever.
About Flip Flops
“We could not believe the findings.” Said Brian Bam, Audiologists and sound expert leading the research team. “Once the test was set up and parameters defined, using our high caliber and incredibly sensitive sound recording equipment, we’d all expected to hear and see (on the audio-scope) that distinctive ‘flip flop’ sound emitting from the sandal as our subject walked in his flip flops on the treadmill.” But what they heard and saw shocked everyone. “What we saw was the inverse of what we’d expected. It was a very distinct and unmistakable Flop Flip.” Explained Bam. That’s right, the flop preceded the flip.
“What they uncovered will change the world of footwear – Forever.”
The researchers first thought that their equipment was to blame for the unexpected result. “I double checked all of the connections and wires to make sure I hadn’t reversed anything,” explained lab tech Deborah Slap, but everything was in order. The team even went so far as to have the subject walk with the left foot first and then the right and then vice-versa to see if that had any impact on the results. It did not. “Flop Flip, flop flip, flop flip,” streamed across the instruments.
So shocking were the results that the team brought in an unprecedented army of 779 test subjects, both male and female and of varying ages, strides, shoe sizes, and walking experience to see if any of them would produce the expected “flip flop” sound; but everyone gave the same “flop flip, flop flip, flop flip” result.
“The data doesn’t lie”
As the impact of their findings began to sink in, the significance of their discovery began to take hold. “I just couldn’t believe it… ‘flop flip’. Wow, the flop is first, wow, just…wow. How could we have had this so wrong for so long? Galileo must have felt this same thrill when he discovered that the Earth revolved around the Sun and not the other way around. Flip flops…wow…” Reflected Corrinne Pop, a researcher on the team. “I still get chills thinking of it. Flop flip.” She repeated, awestruck.
“The data doesn’t lie,” said lead data analyst Charlie Snap, “this footwear has been misidentified since its inception. Flip flops are actually flop flips. There’s just no other way to put it.”
“…we cannot continue mislead the public now that we have the facts”
The news was initially not well taken by the footwear industry. However, upon a thorough review of the study, the evidence was overwhelming. “Flip flops are flop flips and there is just no way around it,” lamented Emily Click, President of the World Retail Federation. “The thought of having to re-label every pair of flop flips is daunting but we cannot continue mislead the public now that we have the facts,” Click continued.
The Commission of Footwear Optimization and Orthopedic Language (F.O.O.L for short) is expected to announce the new guidelines on April 1, 2020.
From that day forward flip flops will be known as flop flips. The discovery and announcement will be just in time for the summer season. We can’t wait to see all of the new flop flips on display in the coming months.
Do Life Right – Flop Flip Daily and Happy April Fool’s Day.